God Cares about the Desires of our Hearts

I was out of work for eight months, but now I have a job. How I came to have that job, and other aspects that have to do with it, is, I believe, a story of God's incredible goodness.

I was laid off from Microsoft, where I had worked as a linguist for eleven years, in May 2010. (During the time I'd been at Microsoft my husband had become pastor of a tiny church, and we had left the large church where I had been a member of a huge choir for fifteen years.) Because there aren't any other linguistic tech jobs here in the Seattle area for native speakers of English, and the academic field has moved on since I was last in that world, I started looking for an admin-type job. But I was overqualified and also too old. So eight months went by fruitlessly until I was contacted out of the blue by my former choir director, Scott, who is head of Worship and Music at our former large church. Scott asked me to work as his interim administrative assistant. Eventually he offered me the job permanently.

Meanwhile, last fall when I heard that that choir was going to present Mendelssohn's oratorio Elijah as a concert, I had asked Scott if I could sing in it. He had explained that many people would like to sing just for the concert, and he had to limit the choir for it to Sunday morning singers. I understood that, but was bitterly disappointed, since I had wanted to do Elijah for years, and didn't know if I'd ever get another chance. My husband, Jim, can attest to the fact that I often complained to him ("Can you believe they would do Elijah after we left?").

So after I started working at that church, I asked Scott if I could just rehearse with the choir, and he said yes. That was plenty good enough for me; just to sing the amazing words with other believers was wonderful. I had been singing with a secular chorus in the interim, and I remember the thrill I felt at the first rehearsal back with the church choir, as I sang with other believers the words from Elijah: "Our God is one Lord, and we will have no other gods before the Lord." But then about a month before the concert Scott invited me to join them for the concert, too, since I was on staff, and that was icing on the cake.

Here's how I think God was working in this: I could not for the life of me find a job, though I was diligently applying to jobs right and left. And then Scott contacted me with a job I did not even expect, working with people I highly respect and enjoy, at a familiar church, and in the department of that church that I was most at home in. That in itself shows God's care for me, to provide for me a job that is not only just a job, but one that makes me happy. But that's not all. God took thought for the desires of my heart--to sing in Elijah. Such an unimportant thing, yet it meant so much to me. I can still hardly believe that God would work this out, yet He did. He cared that much about such a little detail in my life.

What an amazing God!

There are more unknowns in Jim's and my future. They may not be wrapped up as neatly as this. But I know for sure that if God cared for me this way, that this is one more piece of evidence that He is a God to be trusted. We can go forward secure in His love.

We May Fall, but We Will Not Go Headlong

Readings:
Psalm 37
Ephesians 6:1-9

Focus:
Psalm 37:24: "Though he may fall, he will not go headlong, for the Lord grasps him by the hand."

Christians are not promised a trouble-free life. We may indeed have difficult periods in our life. Sicknesses may come. We may lose our jobs or our loved ones. Unfair things may happen to us. We may fall.

But we will not go headlong, for the Lord grasps us by the hand. In the midst of any troubles that come to us, God is there with us. I learned that very well when I had cancer. God even let me know just before I got my diagnosis that he was going to care for me specially (see this post), and then he stayed with me throughout my illness in an amazing way.

I have seen this happen for many other people struck with incredible suffering, yet buoyed with the love of Christ. And the same can be true for anyone going through a hard time. God will not abandon those who love him. We may fall, but we will not go headlong.

God Is So Much Greater Than We Are

Readings:
Job 36
II Corinthians 4:1-12

Focus:
Job 36:26a: "Consider: God is so great that we cannot know him."

One thing that is, surprisingly, comforting to me about God, is that I do not understand him completely. I used to think that I ought to be able to have all my questions about God answered, and that all the things that bothered me should be cleared up.

But then one day I realized that God was God and I was not. I was not even close. How could I expect to understand everything about him? It is hard enough to learn difficult subjects such as trigonometry or object-oriented programming. How could I imagine that I could understand God?

Once I realized that, I felt much better. This was because I already knew that he is the one who gives us the instinct for what goodness and justice are. If this is true, then he is bound to be ultimately good and just. We can trust that what he is doing is good and right, even when we don't understand.

It is just that he is so great that we cannot know all about him.

Blessed Be the Name of the Lord

Readings:
Job 1
Romans 16:1-16

Focus:
Job 1:21: "Naked I came from the womb, naked I shall return whence I came. The Lord gives and the Lord takes away; blessed be the name of the Lord."

The ancient Hebrew, Job, had amassed many riches, but he lost them all in one day. Yet he knew that things that we love, such as material wealth, family members, or good health, are uncertain. We are not assured of their permanence with us.

Moreover, God alone knows whether or not the presence of these loved people and things in our lives is good for us. He may have some purpose that we are not aware of, and we may lose the things we love, without knowing that we are heading toward some greater good without those things.

Or, because, through the free will of humankind, we have allowed sin into the world, and creation has become broken, some evil takes some good things away from us. But God will work to turn the result of the evil to our good, even though we have lost what we loved. I know that I have found this to be true as I have experienced both cancer and serious heart problems.

In all of these circumstances, God remains good. Job was wise enough to know this. When we are beset with loss and hardship, may we have the trust nonetheless to say with Job, "Blessed be the name of the Lord."